Breathe: A Life in Flow by Gracie, Rickson

“You do a good job staying calm in bad positions. That is an important thing.”

1. The Gracie Clan

Emotions are contagious. Hélio used to say that you had to break the emotional wave before it broke on you.

My dad believed that if your mind and will are not strong, you’ll spend your entire life getting carried away by your desires and weaknesses. You’ll spend your whole life paying for things you don’t want.

From a very young age, it was drilled into us that there was no shame in losing but there was shame in quitting or not fighting.

Parents should never burden their kids with their unfulfilled ambitions, frustrations, anxiety, or any other form of emotional baggage. The parents’ support must be consistent. The most important thing is that the child gets the experience—win, lose, or draw—without judgment.

Jiu Jitsu is much more fluid than Judo or Karate and requires patience, not just aggression, and forces students to develop strategies to find comfort in uncomfortable situations. This is where Jiu Jitsu differs from both wrestling and Judo.

2. Growing Up Gracie

sometimes it’s not about escaping but about finding whatever comfort you can in hell.

3. Predators and Prey

Such an easy win against such an intimidating guy gave me a great deal of confidence, perhaps even overconfidence. After that fight, the best surfers in Rio began to show me respect, and even the girls took notice. I was often frustrated in Ipanema because the beautiful beach girls my age usually dated rich guys with convertibles. That would soon change.

Brazilians need this proximity and bodily engagement to feel comfortable. For many Brazilians, sex is like eating; it is just a human need. My father and uncles had a different view of this—as evidenced by their legacy of children—but I wanted the enjoyable aspects of sex as well. I wanted the passion and fun.

“Fuck, man! What happened to your front teeth? Where’s your motorcycle?” I’d ask.“I don’t know man. The last thing I remember is the night we were doing lines with those beautiful girls at the club!”

I eventually learned that the capacity to accept anything, especially death, was the key to my physical, mental, and spiritual growth.

4. The Unfettered Mind

This fight exposed me to the most primal kind of fear that comes from within. My insecure state of mind came from the fear of losing. If you fear something that has not even happened, then quitting becomes a form of self-protection. Fear is not the enemy; it’s simply a self-protection mechanism that must be managed.

Orlando Cani believed that modern man had become disconnected from his body because he had been taught to think instead of feel. Most people assume that there is a clear dividing line between the mind and body, but there isn’t. Their relationship is much more symbiotic and complex. He tried to reestablish the mind-body connection by making his students conscious of their everyday movements, things like getting out of bed, walking, and climbing ladders. This complex simplicity spoke to me because it was so much like Jiu Jitsu.

Orlando Cani taught me how to empty my mind and use intuition instead of my brain. After training with him, my perception improved to the point where I could shake someone’s hand and instantly determine if he was friend or foe, relaxed or tense, happy or sad, confident or insecure. This gave me a huge advantage in the ring. When I fought, I was neither emotional nor intellectual. I never thought about strategy; I just allowed myself to connect with my opponent on a profound level. The moment the bell rang, I didn’t expect anything or plan anything. In order to do this, I had to rid myself of all thoughts about victory or defeat.

My biggest personal breakthrough came after realizing that my life was less important than my mission. I was always courageous but would often waste my courage on stupid things that put me at unnecessary risk. For example, I was fine with risking my life in big surf because I felt that it helped me grow, but going to a party and getting into a fight now seemed stupid and even reckless. I wanted to calculate my risks and save them for things that would advance my mission to become the greatest Gracie.

7. The Land of the Rising Sun

When I woke up, I thanked God for life and then acknowledged that it was a perfect day to die because my life’s mission was complete. I was representing my art and my family in the ring. My opponent would have to knock me out or kill me to win, for I was never going to tap. This was not a sport to me; it was my sacred honor.

9. Devastation

With kids, you have to accept the fact that you are not in control of their outcomes. You plant the seeds and nurture them as best you can, but at a certain point, you have to let go. No matter how much knowledge, love, money, or advice you give them, they will fly once their own wings are strong enough. Then they will chart their own courses through life. A father must accept his children for who they are, not who he would like them to be.

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